Sunday, August 29, 2010

To walk or not to walk...

Ugh. I just realized the local MS (multiple sclerosis) walk is September 11th. I feel a huge amount of guilt not participating, but I am still hesitant to sign up.  I did do it one year, many years ago now.  Another year I raised some money for them, but something happened and I never actually showed up on the big day. (But I did turn in the money!!) What's my hold up? Mainly, I have not yet told the world that I have MS.  I'm one of the lucky ones that it's not very visible, so mainly only my family, close friends, and co-workers know.  Next horrible thing to admit... I hate being around people that are more disabled than I am.  Seeing what this disease has done to them, and what I might have to look forward to, is difficult for me.  I don't really want to think about that stuff...the what ifs.  Taking my daily shot of Copaxone is enough of a reminder, and some days I can't even face that.

Did you know that I'm also a hypocrite?? I keep wishing someone big would step up and bring a ton of awareness (and ultimately research money) to this disease. You know, like Mohammad Ali and Michael J. Fox have for Parkinson's?  Sure there are a few out there, most notable in my opinion being Montel Williams, he really seems to be trying to get out there and raise awareness.  Kudos to Montel! I'm sorry I'm not as forthcoming myself.

Well, I guess I'll give myself until September 1st to decide. Maybe I'll just discreetly join one of my friends teams and try to help out that way...under the radar!

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