Friday, September 17, 2010

Michaele Salahi in the News Again

Michaele Salahi is making headlines again, now because she's revealed she's been diagnosed with MS (for 17 years.)  I'm not debating that she does or doesn't have MS, but as I was reading the article on FoxNews my mouth nearly fell open when I saw one of the reasons why she decided to speak up about it now. 

On the TV reality show Real Housewives of where-ever that she's currently on, "they" are apparently accusing her of having an eating disorder because she's so thin. Wow- sign me up for that symptom! Oops, off topic...

I actually feel sorry for this woman because she is so obviously screwed up, but that doesn't mean I'm any less frustrated by her. Misinformed or plain dumb... or maybe she's smarter than we give her credit for and this is yet another intentional, outrageous claim to get her in the news.  Maybe she has a good agent! Ugh, venting, moving on...

I'm going to fall back on one of the founding principals of eBay and assume Ms. Salahi, like all people, is basically good.  That said, I'd like to just take a moment to jump on my soap box and loudly announce, not all problems are MS related.  Having Multiple Sclerosis does not shield you from other medical problems. This is not a complicated concept to grasp! A person with MS can still have heart problems, cancer, diabetes, eating disorders, blah, blah, blah! Name it you can get it. It just frustrates me. A lot of things frustrate me. It's a good thing I have tools like Facebook, Twitter and Blogger to vent. :)

Speaking about venting, I feel like crap today. I've been struggling with a muscle spasm in my chest and its kept me awake the last two nights. Being awake has given me a lot of time to toss around all possible reasons for this chest pain, and I've considered everything from heartburn to a heart attack. I decided it must just be a spasm because 1) I didn't die and 2) it wasn't really in the right area to be heartburn. It did cause me a considerable amount of pain - it especially hurt to take deep breaths or lie flat- but it was in only one specific place on the right side of my chest. Anyone want to take a whack at what it was? I considered taking a muscle relaxant and/or some TUMS but I hurt too badly to get up to get it. Also, while I was busy obsessing, I wondered what a muscle relaxant might do to my heart if I took it and really was having a heart attack. Anyway, this is what I blame my exhaustion, random aches and pains, and head ache on today. I'm dying to take a Nuvigil to see if it makes me alert and productive. (I'm trying to wait until noon so it doesn't wear off too early!) I wasn't having much luck with Nuvigil at first but I've upped my dosage to 125 mgs and have noticed some improvement. I know a Provigil would fix me but I'm trying to make a switch to Nuvigil. After all, I have a coupon!

In my defense, I was about to call the doctor but I waited and now the pain has stopped. Yahoo!  I've been up there a lot lately and it's starting to get embarrassing. :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Twit~illiterate

I recently joined Twitter! I am an admitted Facebook-aholic and while trying to break myself of one bad habit I've incorporated another. I'm struggling a little bit, trying to understand Twitter, but I'm still loving it at the same time.  I've decided one of the pros and cons of Facebook is that you can find your friends there. These people really know me, can find me, and can talk about me behind my back, so I am pretty careful what I share on there. On Twitter I'm feeling rather liberated! I can say what ever I want- solicit advice and information from people with similar interests and problems- without becoming the water cooler topic of the day! I have my real picture on there but I'm considering changing it to a less recognizable one. I'm worried that one day I'll be found out and all my fun will end!

I feel like I have taken some pretty good steps toward better understanding Twitter today and made some @username replies to some people that I've wanted to communicate with. I even made a couple posts with some #topics to see if I get any replies from people who don't follow me! Yeah, it's a little sad that this is exciting to me.  We'll see how well my enthusiasm holds up a few days from now.

To find me on Twitter my user name is TwitChic1. I have my blog URL listed there but not on Facebook. Shocking, huh? :-)

Monday, September 6, 2010

Labor Day Weekend

We had an awesome weekend with some old friends!  Maybe I should say dear friends instead of old?? lol As we near and enter our 40's sometimes the slightest of adjectives can give our hearts a little heave. Yeah, yeah-- it's only a number. Blah blah blah. But, I digress.

One of our dearest friends- I've known him since I was about 16; my husband met him in college and became best friends, and he was the best man in our wedding 17 years ago-surprised us and came to visit us with his wife and son.  This was no small act of kindness! He lives in Texas, flew to ID and decided to drive to Montana on his wife's birthday to see us!!  We hadn't had the pleasure of meeting her before, but a pleasure it was!  She's awesome, he's still awesome, and we spent the time together with no awkwardness. We haven't seen him in several years and it was like no time had passed at all. And, it was like we've known her forever.  I feel like such a cad that we didn't drive to ID to see them.  We were thinking about it, but I have my house issues I want, no need, to solve SOON, my father in law is having some problems he needed hubby's help with, and we are having some serious car issues and aren't sure we have a vehicle that could make the trip... so we decided we should stay home.  Their act of packing up and coming here to see us was the nicest thing I can remember anyone doing for us in the longest time!  It was perfect timing too, since hubby has been pretty down lately- he looked truly happy.  It was so nice to see him smiling naturally again. It was so nice seeing the two of them together again!! It was just all very, very nice!!! :-D

As for the string in the side of my head, this morning I decided I've had enough and yanked it, HARD. OMG- was that ever the wrong thing to do!!!  I yanked it and my scab popped off!! (Refer to the larger than life picture in my last blog if you want to see why this was alarming.) It HURT. And the string stayed in place.  I learned my lesson and I am leaving it alone. If it's still there in a month, I'll make an appointment.  :-)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Can you see this???


Sorry for the disgusting factor, but this is the string still sticking out of the side of my face. Directly above is the scab from where the mole was removed. It's the healthy skin in between that's beginning to make me nervous about it. The doctor yanked on it Thursday and said to give it a few more days and I should be able to pull it out. Right now I'm like a child with a loose tooth and its not budging. I was showing my hubby and as he took a step near me i shrieked not to touch it! I know for a fact he could get it out but I'm nowhere near that stage yet! One time I had a cramp in my foot that sent my big toe and second toe in two opposite directions. He approached me very caringly like he was going to massage it out and then suddenly grabbed my foot and shoved all of my toes into place. OMG! That hurt so freaking bad! Literally twenty years have passed and I'm still scared to have him "help" me in those types of situations. Oh well...its been about 9 days since my PCP attached a bow to the side of my face. Hopefully its gone soon!!
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Friday, September 3, 2010

Provigil or Nuvigil

September 3rd and I'm thinking more about where to go and what to do than when to exercise, or what to fix for dinner.  This is a holiday weekend after all, isn't it?!

Today I decided my neurologist is truly the bomb. For those of you that don't know, it's good. I've been tossing around the idea of switching from Provigil to Nuvigil because of an ad campaign that is telling me they'll help me with my co-pays if I switch.  It's been a very complicated process (at least to me). When I first started taking Provigil I had a $30 copay. Then it went to $60.  Then it hit around $180.  Last time I filled it, it cost me over $200! If I could exist without it I certainly would.  Damn insurance companies anyway.  So, anyway I got a card in the mail saying my copay could be as low as $10 per month so I got very excited. The closer I read the fine print, I think they'll pay up to $50 toward my copay- with a whole lot of other stipulations, so if the stars perfectly align I could save up to $50.  I figure that's better than nothing, as long as the medicine works for me.  So, I told all of this to my PC, and he transferred it to my neuro. Well the long and short of it is that my neuro had some free samples! So today I took half of the lower does and I'm loving it.  I hope to get a ton done this weekend! And maybe I'll sneak in some weight lifting also. :-)

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Well crap...

It's September 2nd and I haven't still haven't gotten into a routine. Considering how fast August flew by, I better get on the stick or I'm afraid I'll lose September too! Last night was the best night I've had in what seems like forever though!  Hubby has been in a real funk lately, making the evening routine difficult. In fact, difficult is probably an understatement.  But then last night he came home and gave me a huge hug and was his old self again. I'm happy for him, and I'm happy for me! :-) Anyway, I guess I'll use that as my excuse for not exercising last night- my life got in the way.  Hopefully tonight I won't let that happen!

Today I hurt everywhere. Well, I guess not everywhere but it feels that way. It's my neck, shoulders and torso that's bad. The pain is making me acutely aware that I have not been exercising. I've decided exercise helps immensely with the pain.  It's difficult to get started, cuz initially it really hurts, but it gets much better in the long run. Even basic walking helps...if I could find my walking shoes! ugh! Yes, September is the month I'm going to get re-organized and on a schedule again!!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Insomnia plus some great news!

I wish I'd learn that drinking wine affects my sleep. At least when I drink too much, which I definitely did tonight! I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow but woke up about 3 hours later and with heartburn. Ugh.

The doctor called today with great news after receiving my MRI report.  The radiologist, after comparing my scans, said there have been NO CHANGES since my last MRI in December 2008. Woohoo!!! That made me happier than I can tell you.  I've heard so many people recite the catchy little phrase, "I have MS but MS doesn't have me!"  What a load of horse poo that is. It's unpredictable and uncontrollable. I'm just glad it seems to be sleeping right now!!! My plan is to try not to wake it up. :-)

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Last day of August!

Wow, where did the month go??  I had big goals for August and I blew them all. Deep sigh!! Oh well, I guess there's no sense dwelling on it and I will shift all of those goals to September! September is historically a cooler month anyway, and the cooler is it the more I can accomplish.  That is until the snow shows up, but I'm not going to think about that right now!

I lost absolutely no weight for my doctor's appointments a week ago, but I hadn't gained either. I was actually pretty happy about that! Approximately two years ago I was 20 lbs less than I am right now.  I was wondering why that happened and I realized that 1) my mother, who I was extremely close to and her primary caregiver, died and 2) a couple of months after her death I had a nasty MS attack that took forever to get under control.  Since that revelation I decided I should stop beating myself up about this weight thing, start thinking positively, live healthier, and the weight should fix itself, right? LOL

Goals for September-- eat right and exercise daily.  Get my house situation under control and either sell or at least have people living in them by the end of the month. Apply to get my passport!!!  I think that's enough for now...

Sunday, August 29, 2010

To walk or not to walk...

Ugh. I just realized the local MS (multiple sclerosis) walk is September 11th. I feel a huge amount of guilt not participating, but I am still hesitant to sign up.  I did do it one year, many years ago now.  Another year I raised some money for them, but something happened and I never actually showed up on the big day. (But I did turn in the money!!) What's my hold up? Mainly, I have not yet told the world that I have MS.  I'm one of the lucky ones that it's not very visible, so mainly only my family, close friends, and co-workers know.  Next horrible thing to admit... I hate being around people that are more disabled than I am.  Seeing what this disease has done to them, and what I might have to look forward to, is difficult for me.  I don't really want to think about that stuff...the what ifs.  Taking my daily shot of Copaxone is enough of a reminder, and some days I can't even face that.

Did you know that I'm also a hypocrite?? I keep wishing someone big would step up and bring a ton of awareness (and ultimately research money) to this disease. You know, like Mohammad Ali and Michael J. Fox have for Parkinson's?  Sure there are a few out there, most notable in my opinion being Montel Williams, he really seems to be trying to get out there and raise awareness.  Kudos to Montel! I'm sorry I'm not as forthcoming myself.

Well, I guess I'll give myself until September 1st to decide. Maybe I'll just discreetly join one of my friends teams and try to help out that way...under the radar!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Tech Football...first game of the season

Quinn and Taylor are staying with us this weekend, so we all went to the football game tonight. It was a fun game but Tech lost. This year they have an awesome new scoreboard though. The local gym had a "flex cam" and a local dentist sponsored a "kiss cam". If I had to pick one to get caught on it'd definitely be the flex cam! Unfortunately my luck isn't that good and we got caught on the kiss cam. Ugh! I didn't fix my hair or wear make up. I wore my broken (although repaired with scotch tape) sunglasses, which I got quite a few comments about actually...and completed the look with stitches in the side of my face. oh and i wore sweats and a gray hoodie!! Any way, it was not my finest moment and i got to see it on the big screen with everyone else in the packed stadium. I bet my husband felt very proud!!

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Friday, August 27, 2010

The dreaded week is over!

I've been dreading this week for a month and I'm a relieved it's over.  Tuesday I had an MRI of the brain, Thursday I was supposed to get the results, and Friday I had my annual check up scheduled.  The MRI actually went faster and with less side effects than my previous scans have.  That was a good thing!  Unfortunately when I went to my appointment on Thursday my doctor had not yet received the radiologist's report, and the CD they sent him didn't work.  He was able to pull up images of my brain scans, although a bit fuzzy, over his intranet and had nothing bad to report.  That means there are no active lesions right now.  That didn't surprise me because I feel fine.  Now we just have to wait to get that radiologist's report to see if any new lesions formed between my last scan and this scan. My vote is no, so keep your fingers crossed.  The last time we compared scans I had around 10 new lesions, with one nasty one that caused me a world of problems. We don't like those...

Now onto Friday!  Poked, prodded and cut open.  What was I thinking??  I've had a mole in front of my right ear my entire life that has always bothered me.  I decided to have it removed today. I have discomfort and periodic bursts of pain that feels like my ear drum is going to rupture.  I didn't expect to have the threat of my ear drum rupturing post mole removal, and I have to admit its a little unnerving. Hopefully it goes away soon or I'll be calling the doctor back on Monday to complain about it.

My last complaint of late is this chronic headache. I told both of my doctors and they just nodded and wrote down that I have one. I think I maybe should have asked if they could fix it.  I might at my follow up appointment on Thursday or when I get the call about my MRI report. That is if I remember to mention it. I meant to write a note of things I wanted to ask the doctor, but I forgot to write the note.  So I of course have a few questions I forgot to ask. Next time maybe I'll be more organized...

Cami Secret Parody (Boob Apron)


Yes, I laughed out loud. It's a little past the PG-13 rating I try to maintain on my Facebook page so I decided to try sharing it here! Let me know what you think. :-)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Hand sanitizer anyone??? (2/2)


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Thursday, August 12, 2010

Hand sanitizer anyone?? (1/2)

This little gem showed up in the mail today. Part of me is happy it came in the mail, complete with grease stains, because normally he hand delivers.

Ewwww! You really dont want to know anymore! lol
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Monday, August 2, 2010

Iced Green Tea isn't so bad!

I'm almost finished packing! The dog whisperer has agreed to come and take care of the livestock. My loose ends at work are getting handled one by one. I still have a gnawing concern the battery on my cell phone will die about 18 hours into our trip but I'm trying to convince myself that that will be ok!!  I have a suspicion cell phones won't work where we are going anyway, but I'm still enough of an addict I'm trying to decide if I should run and buy a travel charger just in case.  For those of you that don't know, we're going to Kettle Falls, WA. We'll be on a 62' houseboat on Lake Roosevelt for four days with 12 other people (so, 16 total).  Fishing, jet skiing, swimming in the lake... I'm so excited!!  I'm a little worried about this sinus crap I have going on. I'm on day 4 of a 5 day antibiotic so I'm hoping for a miracle cure soon. Last night I kept both of us up with my coughing. I finally took a few doses of the prescription cough medicine they gave me and it must have done the trick. I still woke up in the morning so I'd say all in all it was successful.

Last night hubby made fish tacos for dinner.  I was skeptical (to say the least) at first but it was really very good.  After dinner hubby, the youngest and I worked on the weights, lower body, and jump roped. I guess for my records I should note that I fell once, while doing lunges. Later in the night the youngest and I were "Shredding it with Jillian" and I almost fell again, at which point I pushed the glass table more behind her and as far away from me as possible.  Even with the design changes to the room, the youngest was still done. She seems to get the most stressed (out of the four of us) about my balance issues. I think she was too little to remember when I had real problems, and maybe that's why she's so in tune to my little quirks now.  Either way, I was relieved to be done exercising and then I did something really crazy!  I had my first bottle of green iced tea!!  I'm not a tea drinker, not a coffee drinker. To all of the diet pepsi haters in my life you'll be glad to know I kind of liked the green tea drink!  It's safe to say I will be drinking more of it. :-)

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Revived, I think

I deleted this blog a month or so ago. Why? Inactivity I suppose! I used this blog to track what I was doing with my life, and when all I wanted to do was whine and complain I stopped blogging.  I also had a text-buddy I could throw all of my random thoughts at, which was much like my blogging.  The upside of that one was if I started feeling too sorry for myself he'd tell me to get over it and move on.  I need that sometimes!!  Too much sympathy just makes me feel worse.  Moral of my story-- if I start whining just kick my ass ok? :-)

I have several doctor appointments coming up at the end of August.  I really hate stepping on the scale and having that number forever recorded in my permanent file. (The last time I stepped on the scale at this certain doctor's office the nurse actually muttered, "oh wow". I think she immediately regretted it but it was too late!  I'd like to make sure that doesn't happen again!) I also want my cholesterol checked so this month will be all about eating right and exercising.  I've never had a problem with cholesterol or my blood pressure/heart rate but I am getting older and I think those things change over time.

More good news and a better reason to shape up!  I just found out hubby and I are going to Costa Rica in January 2011!! I'm totally excited!!  I set an attainable goal to lose 42 lbs about a week ago.  Honestly I have room to lose more than that, but the key was to make it attainable.  So far I've lost almost 5 lbs.  I know the first 5 lbs is always the easiest but at least the scale is moving in the right direction.

Hubby has been helping me on our weight set at home and I bought a shiny new jump rope.  These new activities are being added to my walking schedule, not replacing it.  I really like working out at home, in our basement. It's nice and cool and never crowded.  The only down side is I can't use the weights alone. Maybe that's a good thing too because it encourages together time. :-)

Well, NetFlix just sent me a shiny Jillian Michaels CD so I think I'm going to go change and try it out.  It's called something like Shred it with Jillian.  If I stick to writing on this blog, I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.